“There are known knowns… there are known unknowns… but there are also unknown unknowns.”
– Donald Rumsfeld
After more than 24 years of coaching business owners, particularly those in family-run companies, I’ve identified a common obstacle that transcends industries, generations, and personalities: we get in our own way.
And when we do, it shows up in subtle but costly ways: indecision, delayed succession, control issues, team turnover, and missed growth opportunities. But the root of these issues isn’t strategy—it’s self-awareness.
The Leadership Blind Spot
Psychologists call them blind spots—those parts of ourselves we can’t see but others often can. The Johari Window is a powerful tool that breaks self-awareness into four quadrants:
- Open: Known to self and others
- Hidden: Known to self, not others
- Blind: Unknown to self, but known to others
- Unknown: Not known to anyone (yet)
It’s the blind and unknown areas that hold leaders hostage. And in family businesses, these hidden zones can block transitions, paralyze decision-making, and stifle innovation.
A Story from the Field
Let me tell you about Dan (not his real name), a second-generation leader in a successful construction business. Dan had been running the company for 15 years, faithfully carrying on his father’s legacy. His son, now in his early 30s, had risen through the ranks, earning respect and responsibility along the way.
But when it came time to formally pass the torch, Dan hesitated.
“I just don’t think he’s ready,” he said.
But after some honest coaching conversations, the truth emerged. His son was ready. The team trusted him. The numbers backed it up.
Dan’s real fear wasn’t about his son—it was about himself. He feared letting go of control. He feared losing his identity. He had no clear vision for what life looked like after the business.
This was his blind spot.
And it was costing him.
Why Leaders Get Stuck
Most leadership stalls happen not because of external market forces, but internal resistance. Some of the most common traps include:
- Fear of becoming irrelevant
- Attachment to being the only decision-maker
- Guilt or resentment in family dynamics
- Avoidance of hard conversations
- Lack of a defined next chapter
The Way Forward
Getting out of your own way starts with seeing what you couldn’t before. Here’s how to start:
1. Seek External Perspective
Talk to a business coach, join a mastermind group, or engage a board of advisors. If you’ve been the only voice in the room for years, it’s time for reflection and input.
2. Use the Johari Window to Gain Clarity
Ask for feedback from your team or family. What are they seeing that you’re not? Consider anonymous surveys or facilitated sessions.
3. Design Your “Next Act”
Letting go of control is easier when you have something meaningful pulling you forward. Whether it’s mentoring, consulting, travel, or purpose work—get clear on what excites you.
4. Shift from “Doer” to “Developer”
If you’re not ready to exit, start by evolving your role. Spend more time developing your successor, coaching others, and less time being the hub of every decision.
5. Remember: Leadership Growth = Personal Growth
Transformation always feels uncomfortable. But the greatest breakthroughs for your business may come when you do your own inner work first.
Final Thought
If you’re a family business owner, or any kind of founder, ask yourself this today:
“Is the biggest obstacle in front of me… me?”
If the answer is even maybe, then good. Awareness is the first step. And if you want support navigating what’s next—from leadership transitions to redefining your role—I’d love to help.
🎙 Tune into The Disruptive Successor Show where we explore stories of next-generation leadership and real-life business evolution.
Or reach out to me directly to explore coaching.
Let’s get out of your own way—so your business, your family, and your future can move forward.